Wednesday, May 30, 2018

I'm posting this from a much needed week of R&R with my travel buddies in Hawaii. My plan was to hit a meeting among our other activities, thinking of a lovely gathering on the beach. What a spiritual boost to sit in a recovery circle while listening to the ocean... Instead, I ended up in a little room at the Schofield army base, with two soldiers in their 20's, one with 117 days sober, waiting to hear if he was going to get discharged for relapsing, and the other, a stern faced young officer at his first meeting ever. This kid said his drinking was out of control, his marriage was on the rocks, and someone he knew had gotten help through AA. He had that wonderful combination of misery and hope that can be our doorway in, if we are willing to pay attention, and do the hard work of letting go of old ideas. So what did I have in common with a couple of young guys who were born a decade after I got sober? On the surface, not much, but all 3 of us understood the misery of putting the drink in front of everything we held dear.

I love out-of-town meetings, whether that is at the Oregon coast, or half way across the globe. Going to away meetings helps me put principles before personalities, and is a positive reminder of our world-wide fellowship. Some of my favorite meetings over the years: Beijing, China, where the chairperson was someone we recognized from home; Shanghai, where I was asked to lead; the small English speaking group in Prague, where the members practically begged us to tell our stories because they were tired of listening to each other; the solid group in St. John, Antigua, where I heard, "Instead of planning your meeting around your day, try planning your day around your meeting."

A number of years ago now, a therapist, who was very helpful during a challenging time in my life, asked if I might think about expanding my life beyond my association with 12 Step recovery. Trying not to sound defensive, I wondered how much more expanded my life could get! I ran a half marathon on the Great Wall of China (with program friends); I went to the top of the Eiffel Tower (with program friends); I'd attended college graduations (program friends and my own); I went to art gallery openings of my (program) friends' work and read books published by my (program) friends, and you get the idea. My view is that my association with 12 Step recovery opens up the world. I don't "just" go to meetings, and my life is greatly enriched by the associations I've made in meetings. One of the most amazing nights of my life started out in an AA meeting in Istanbul, Turkey. My friend and I went for dinner with a couple of woman from Ireland and California, and through a series of events, ended up hanging out with a group of Kurdish men who were sending their pal off to his compulsory military stint. As we listened to everyone in the pub sing folk songs, my friend and I had to pinch ourselves. You don't get here from there, they used to tell us. And we wouldn't have gotten to that little club in a back alley in Istanbul if we hadn't been at a record store in Taksim Square with these two women who spoke Turkish and essentially handed us off to a very nice stranger.

So as I relax on the beach, I express gratitude - for my recovery foremost and always, for the means to explore the world, for fantastic friends who like to travel, or go for walks, or sign up for 10k's, or go to a meeting. When I stood on the steps of the treatment program in Seaside, my hand on the door knob, and pushed myself across the threshold into the smokey room, I had absolutely no idea where I'd end up. As one of the counselors used to tell us, "There's a great big world out there, and you can do anything you want to in it, as long as you don't drink or use." OK, maybe not anything, but today, all of my needs and most of my wants are satisfied beyond my wildest dreams. And the funny thing is, my wildest dreams aren't all that wild anymore. A comfortable home, a solid relationship, good friends, a positive relationship with family, work I enjoy - simple really, but miles away from where I was all those years ago.  Thank you God. Thank you God. Thank you God.

Gratitude lists are always appropriate, whether on vacation or during a work week. What are you grateful for today?

3 comments:

  1. Good stuff, J! I had no idea my life would become so full and healthy, when I got cornered into admitting that, maybe, I had a problem with alcohol... Then I thought AA would just help with booze, and again, had no idea it would open a door to a technicolor life, instead of the boring and grey one, I was expecting... Thx for this blog! It always resonates with me!

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  2. Thanks, Jeanine....and here I am in Northwestern England getting ready to attend another AA meeting tonight, having left Portland, OR. nearly two weeks ago --- you are so right about meetings while traveling. And actually the whole experience of traveling sober! Who knew we'd be exploring the world and remembering where we'd been, specifics of meetings along the trail, and generally enjoying life sober! Here's to the mystery of recovery and all the gifts it gives.

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