The 50 year 8th grade reunion this past weekend was a grand success, with laughter and tender moments the prevailing mood. I was struck, as I participated and listened in on various conversations, by the fickle nature of memory. There was collective memory, of the way our 3rd grade teacher ran her tongue around her mouth before talking, for example. and selective memory, impacted by our specific wounds or triumphs.

Events may or may not be recalled objectively, but emotional memory is always subjective. I think of our saying, "more will be revealed," as applied to the inventory process. My first inventory was focused on what I'd done wrong. The next few were what "you" did wrong to me. Over time, with each revisit, my perspective shifted and changed so that, bit by bit, I've been able to see more of the whole picture (though, still, the whole picture from my viewpoint).

In thinking about those childhood years, when school was fun and my acting out fairly innocent and prompted mainly by boredom, I recall my introversion coupled with kinetic energy.  I remember sneaking candy, passing notes, and talking about that week's episode of The Monkees, or Laugh-In, knowing that most of my peers had watched too. Kind of like what happens in the rooms - we're different in so many ways, but have shared experience that allows our connections and conversations.

The day after the 8th grade gathering was my high school's yearly "all-alumni" reunion. Again, a chance to connect with people I see only once a year, or once every 40 years for some. But high school had a different tenor all together. For one thing, alcoholism had sunk its claws into my psyche. And, with full-on adolescence came the hideous four horsemen of terror, bewilderment, frustration and despair. Parts of high school were fun, and this is when I started confusing attention with validation, attraction with approval. It would be a long time before I understood that those attributes needed to come from within.

It was telling being part of a conversation about a particular person - they were involved in debate, football, this and that. I was involved in the park scene - smoking cigarettes, getting high, cutting class. Hindsight is 20/20 of course, and without some sort of intervention, I doubt I was capable of doing much differently. And, the friendships and associations I made during that time, and in those illicit places, continue to feed my soul. Different experiences, different perspectives, and here we are today.

How has your perspective on the past changed over the years? What has "more will be revealed" uncovered for you?