On Saturday, I attended a friend’s 90^th birthday party. 90 years! The changes she’s seen since 1928! This woman, auntie and grandmother in my “sister-from-another-mother’s” family, is inspiring – enthusiastic and engaged, full of stories from way back when and what’s going on today. One thing I especially appreciate are her reminders of our connections to our people who’ve passed, pointing out that they are still with us, if we simply pay attention. At the party, she wore a hat that belonged to her mother – generations connected through time, and respect.

The next day, we drove down to celebrate our daughter’s move in to her college dorm with brunch and a trip to Home Depot. A rite of passage! I’ve know this young woman since she was 9 years old, and sitting at the restaurant, it felt like she’d gown up in a flash, sharing her excitement and fears, her concerns and hopes for this grand adventure. And she listened as her Dad and I talked about our experiences at her age -  generations connected through love and hopeful anticipation.

Sandwiched in-between, a friend and I attended an 80’s nostalgia concert: Among other songs, Boy George sang one of the anthems to a painful break-up that was part of my hitting bottom, and the B-52’s pounded out a number that was a dance-party staple in early recovery. Much of the crowd was gray-haired, like myself, with a surprising number of younger folks in full 80’s regalia (or what they imagined it to be) - generations connected through the shared experience of music.

We are privileged with connections over time in our program. While I do participate in several small groups of women with over 20 years sobriety, I especially appreciate meetings with those both old and new. Listening to someone with 30 days or less reminds me of the despair and confusion of the early months. Those in the middle are often eloquent in their descriptions of the return to emotional sobriety. And we old-timers remind all of them, and ourselves, that it is alcoholism, not alcoholwasm -  generations, connected through the wisdom of awareness.

I so appreciate this stage of my life. Sure, parts of me are saggy that used to be firm, but that is minor compared to the peace of mind I experience most days, and the joys of connecting with  generations both before and after mine. I can learn from everyone along the spectrum, as long as I am mindful of keeping an open mind and a listening heart. 

Where do you connect with your elders, or those just beginning their journey, whether in meetings or in your family (however you define that)?  Recognizing that we can be both learners and teachers, where do you fit on the continuum today? What have you gained over the passage of time that has surprised you?