Sober Long Time - Now What?
Exploring the intricacies of long term sobriety.
Wednesday, May 14, 2025
in transit
Wednesday, May 7, 2025
flexibility
Wednesday, April 30, 2025
on the path
After a couple of days to acclimate, we started walking on Monday, 11 days, 160 miles to Santiago de Compostela.
In talking with someone before leaving home, they shared their story of traveling with an AA symbol on their backpack, and all the fun and meaningful conversations it prompted along the way. So, I did the same, not at all shy about my recovery, knowing that, too, is a gift of long-term sobriety. (When I shared my plan with a newcomer, she was thinking that AA is something to hide. Not anymore, if it ever was for me).
So, staying in the moment, literally one foot in front of the other, with the only concern of the day is where and what to eat, following the route markers, As much as I truly love my domestic life of home and hearth, I've been looking forward to this extended, walking retreat. I don't do that often enough - take time away from the daily routines. My spouse and I are conference go-ers, but I'm more thinking of time in nature, with blocks set aside for solitude. Of course, I could do that at home, but there is something to be said for intentionally taking an official break.
As of today no one has noticed or commented on the 12-step patch on my backpack, but I am having conversations with lots of people along the way. Whether English speaking or not we are on the same path.
And as we've read, "Lack of power, that was our dilemma" as we were caught in the several nations power outage on Monday. It didn't impact us too much (no elevator at the day's hotel) and people were in good humor. We were all in it together, and such an example of not being in control.
A very soggy walk today, yet another reminder to surrender to the moment (& grateful for all my running and walking in rainy Portland). So, Onward, odat!
Where has powerlessness shown up in your life this week? How do you put one foot in front of the other, on the easy path or the tougher?
Friday, April 18, 2025
I'm walking here...
Rumi says, "As you start to walk on the way, the way appears." Clarity doesn't come before action. It comes from action.
I've needed that message recently - the ongoing effort to stay in the moment. I leave this week to walk the Portuguese Coastal Route of the Camino de Santiago, a grand adventure and spiritual quest. I feel physically ready, with LOTS of walking under my belt these past few months, and am being conscious of being spiritually ready to walk through (literally) whatever the path may bring, knowing that there may be tears and there may be joy, frustrations and elations, literally one step at a time.
My prep included talking with two program friends who've recently completed the same trek, as well as following a social media group of women getting ready to set out. with a lot of attention in that group on what to carry, down to minutia of travel size shampoo, etc. My friends had some welcome advice and suggestions, but as one of the social network people wrote, "Just walk." I probably won't get lost on a marked path, and if I do, "Oh well" I can reset (heck, I get lost when walking in my own city, so I'm very accustomed to "Did I miss the turn?")
And while it seems like every third person I've talked to has either done it, or knows someone who has, I will have my own experience. Kind of like early recovery when the old-timers would say, "You're right where you're supposed to be," sharing markers for 30, 60, 90 days and beyond. There are markers and maps for this phase of my spiritual development, and... I will know what I need to know, when I need to know it.
Somewhere in the last few months, someone posted on the Camino site that they'd realized the journey had already started while putting in the miles at home, thinking about their "why." Years ago, I heard circuit speaker, Pat Y, talk about her Camino, and that after all her preparation, she got there and took a nasty spill three or four days in, so couldn't finish. I asked about feeling disappointed, but she said, "No, not really," recognizing that the planning and preparation was her journey. I get that, especially when starting from zero, working up to six to eighteen miles per day. And, I can stay mindful of not getting cocky, Ms Marathon runner/walker that I am, or rather was, emphasis on "was." Like sobriety, my fitness (physical or spiritual) today isn't based on what I did five or ten years ago, but on what I am doing today.
And so, off we go, a friend and I, into the wild, blue yonder. My intention is to post while away, though perhaps short and sweet. In any event, I will carry you in my heart. Please keep me in yours.
How would you describe your current path? How might you undertake a spiritual quest, on an actual journey or in your own backyard?
*Note that sales of the Now What workbook are on temporary hold until I return home