Apologies for being a day late with my weekly check-in, but we've been on a short respite in San Francisco. My spouse's family are wonderful people, who've welcomed me into the mix with open arms. We have an AA family down there, too, in our home-away-from-home group, the regular 7:30AM meeting that we were fortunate to participate in each day. I don't avail myself of a daily meeting at home, so thoroughly appreciated the early morning centering, as well as checking in with members we've gotten to know over time.

On one our of days out of the city, we hit a noon meeting that we've liked in the past - a healthy mix of old timers, folks just out of rehab, and everyone in between. One of the old timers had a particularly rich share, weaving in aspects of the Steps and connections from the literature that were new to me, and part of the reason I keep coming back. Hearing a new take on how this thing works helps keep the program fresh for me after all these years.

Twenty minutes after the meeting, we ran into said old timer at the store, where we were picking up ingredients for a picnic lunch. We greeted him, and told him how much we appreciated his share - a pleasant connection. And then he was rude to another shopper, twice. My heart fell. Not because I expect perfection, but because is it disappointing to vividly observe someone talking the talk without walking the walk.

I am no saint, but years ago someone told me that I might be the only example of a Big Book that someone sees. And even if that person isn't aware that I am an example of addiction recovery, I know. Recovery is about changed behavior, and my Step 10 inventory hits me in the gut when I'm not practicing the principles, whether that is being short with my spouse, cranky at work, or rude to someone in the grocery store.

The thing is that I always knew the difference between right and wrong, but when I was active in my alcoholism, the wrong way was so much easier, and more fun. "Right" mean "good," and good meant delayed gratification, putting someone else's well being ahead of my own, stopping to really think before I acted. It was easier, in the moment, to say "screw it," and worry about the consequences later. And there were always consequences, usually framed with my assertion that I didn't mean to hurt you, really I didn't. I hoped and prayed that I would be judged by my intentions, which were never actually evil. Instead, of course, it was my actions that told you who I was - selfish and self-centered in the extreme.

That's what I saw at the grocery store - selfish, self-centered, and self-righteous - a reminder of who I don't want to be. And again, I am far from perfect. Good grief - I live in Portland, the Land of Entitled Pedestrians. Believe me when I say that I harbor unkind thoughts from time to time (!). But what I know today is that I learn and grow spiritually by watching others gracefully navigate the daily pitfalls, as well as seeing others stumble angrily along the way. Thank you, Higher Power, for lessons.

How are you an example of recovery in action today? How do you stay aware so that you can catch yourself when you trip up against yourself?

Thank you, dear reader, for coming along on the ride. I love to travel, and even more, I love coming home.