Continuity

After last week's post on grief, here we are with another loss in Queen Elizabeth's death.  I don't have much of an opinion on the monarchy, though like many Americans, have enjoyed the fairy-tale like aspects of what we see on television, so I was surprised by my tears when I heard the news - not the Queen! Like my long-lived mother, the Queen was always there, a constant, and now just one more exit of the WWII generation I grew up with. As the week progressed, I've seen several articles about how her death has triggered mother-loss for many of us. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in that, much like with our program when I initially thought I was the only person to feel the pitiful, incomprehensible demoralization of my alcoholic behaviors. Being human, a worker among workers, still sometimes surprises me.

Continuity and history matter to me, along with a sense of predictability in this techno-world I don't quite understand. Continuity in our meetings means hearing the readings and announcements, seeing familiar faces and welcoming new people. It's a bit different in these covid times, especially now that some groups gather in person and some online, but I still appreciate the regularity. Consistency and history matter to me, joining with those who remember when we'd all go to lunch across the street, or when a member decided against treatment for her cancer and left us soon after, those who recall when the Thursday night group almost shut down due to the college's new rule against smoking in the building ("No one can tell us what to do - it's against the Traditions!") and the time that person jumped up on the table as they shared. 

Continuity and community come in various forms, of course. Like this week when we three adjoining neighbors were all out front doing various tasks as our regular mailman came by, chatting with each of us about the weather, our mail, or just shooting the breeze. I like the old-fashioned human connection vs the delivery driver who tosses a package on the porch and drives off without hearing my "thank you!" - probably because they have a quota to fill. (Another of my pet peeves is when a runner, walker or cyclist passes within a foot of me and looks straight ahead to my "Good morning," even the ones not wearing earbuds. Come on, people - just say hello).

Speaking of continuity, I seem to have come full circle in the work department with my seasonal elections gig, getting an email request to come in for a few hours this week to enter address changes, as it appears I have an aptitude for the task. I had to laugh - my first job out of high school was typing benefits checks at an insurance company for $314 per month. Here I am, 50 years later, riding the bus to work, typing addresses, and at very part-time, probably earning not much more than $314 per month. So very funny, and I'm so glad to not be in charge, to simply say "yes" or "no" to requests to come in, suit up and show up and do what is asked. When I phoned my brother with report of my aptitude, he chuckled, but added "There's nothing wrong with being competent." I can be grateful for 10th grade typing class and a mother (as well as the Queen) who was an example of taking care of business. And, grateful that at this stage of life, I can take a small (but important) job that doesn't have anyone's life at stake.

I've been known to pick up the random feather or two (usually crow) on my morning walks. Lately I've simply noticed, imagining each as a little arrow reminding me of the spiritual path. Just that fraction of a second pause from my usual mental chatter is enough of a reset to move away from rumination or planning and towards presence in the moment. Feelings do come and then go, if I let them. Even if things in the world feel a bit shaky, I can tap into my own consistency, the continuity of my own daily habits and routines.

Are there public figures whose deaths have triggered your own emotions? Are you more of a continuity person, or is it novelty you prefer? Besides our program, where else do you experience a sense of community? Rather than focusing on your "defects" this week, what positive attributes can you list, and celebrate? 

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Fall is a great time to start a small group discussion, or work with a sponsor or sponsee in the Now What? workbook. See the Feb 4 post for a sample or contact me at shadowsandveins@gmail.com for more info. (Order off the web version of this page, or, available at Portland Area Intergroup. Also carried at the T-Mar table at September conferences)