This week, I'm sharing some inspiring words that have crossed my path from sources other than our 12 Step literature.
"The world around you is only beautiful when you are at peace with the world within you."
Author unknown, but my source is a friend who sends uplifting quotes and messages once or twice a week, this one generating an internal, "Yes!" Yes, and... it can be a journey from thinking my problems (and solutions) are out there somewhere to remembering that my answers are within. Are my HALTS out of whack? Am I sitting in fear (which is always projected into the future)? Am I relying on my own finite resources rather than trusting the process? How can I move towards the peace within when my mind might be rattling with discord?
A quote I read frequently at the beginning of the day is from Jessica Powers, a poet and Carmelite nun, who died in 1988: "There will be something - anguish or elation, that is peculiar to this day alone. I rise from sleep and say: Hail to the morning! Come down to me, my beautiful unknown!"
I love the reminder of the mystery, of the day unfolding as it will - often in the manner I expect, but not always. I know in my mind I'm not in charge, and... I still forget. Keeping close to the program (and particular poems and readings) is the reinforcement I need on a regular basis. The same friend who sends the inspirations reminds me that my recovery has a 24-hour shelf life.
Being happy is not a fatality of destiny, but an achievement for those who can travel within themselves - Pope Francis
This lovely quote about the internal journey reminds me that self-searching isn't limited to those of us in alcohol and addiction recovery, but more the human condition. I rarely, if ever, traveled within myself pre-sobriety. I may have thought I did, with those "moral and philosophical convictions galore," but capital T-truth introspection was nearly always colored with justifications and rationalizations, leaning heavily towards a higher power that excused all my misdeeds. Yes, like described in the Big Book, I felt awe at a sunset or a starry night, but there was no consistency in my spiritual reachings - I was too busy reaching for another drink!
I so appreciate the words of wisdom that cross my path, either from my own searching, or gifted from a friend. And funny how something can fall flat one day while the next, pierce my heart. A few years ago I was at a conference and overheard a couple of women referring to the recent speaker, saying, "Well, she went on and on" while I was in awe of the same talk. Perspective, frame of mind, receptivity - and that whole bit about the teacher appearing when the student is ready.
I got fitted out for radiation treatment, which consisted of several dot sized tattoos and a gizmo that will help me inhale to a certain point and hold my breath (so my lungs inflate, thus protecting my heart). Quite a production, though I'm told the daily procedure itself will only last a few minutes. One foot in front of the other, one day at a time, one appointment at a time.
I must admit to feeling a bit off as this "blog week" draws to a close. I've spent far too much time at medical appointments lately, between scans and blood tests, a recommended pneumonia vaccine, etc etc. The tech I saw on Tuesday teased that he'd issue me a timecard, I've been there so often. On one hand, I can consider all this scanning and testing simply as information gathering, which feels better than the grouch I've been all day. Perspective, frame of mind, receptivity...
Do you have favorite poems or readings that bring you comfort? How do you move towards serenity while accepting your inner grouch as a natural part of the human experience? What does it mean to you to travel within yourself? How do the Steps guide that journey?
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See the Jan 13, 2023 post for a sample of the "I've Been Sober a Long Time - Now What?" workbook with 78 pages of topics, member's views, and processing questions. Available in PDF format for those of you outside the US (or who prefer that format) or hardcopy mailed to you. Email me at shadowsandveins@gmail.com with questions. You can order from the WEB VERSION of this page. Note that the workbook is also available at Portland Area Intergroup at 825 NE 20th
This quote that I found about a decade ago by Elizabeth Edwards inspired me the first time I read it and it has become even more poignant as I go through my bout of breast cancer. A bit of background on the quote itself: Elizabeth Edwards was John Edwards wife. The same John Edwards that was a Vice President candidate about 15 years ago who had to drop out of the race because he got caught having an affair with one of his staffers who also had a child by him. At the same time all that was going on Elizabeth found out she had breast cancer, this is what she said in response to someone asking her how she was dealing with all of that, "Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it's less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you've lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that's good."
ReplyDelete~~Elizabeth Edwards (1949-2010)
It is my goal to be that accepting of what is going on. Thankfully, the Program helps keep me moving forward one Step at a time rather than getting stuck in the surprise, fear, frustration, and anger that I have at times felt with this process. Ironically, I put that as the signature line of my email about 10 years ago not long after she died from the breast cancer. At the time I never dreamed I would be facing this as I have no family history of it. But I am thankful when I see people face life altering events with grace and dignity, clearly she did that.
I may have already replied (so not tech saavy) but just to be sure, wanted to thank you for the Edwards quote, and for the courage in sharing your own story. We can do together what we cannot do alone.
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