Serenity in a crazy world...
I am deeply saddened and disgusted and appalled by what is going on in this country, from shootings, to pipe bombs, stabbings in a mall, the ongoing protest against the Dakota Access Pipeline, and on and on. And this is just in the past 2 weeks. This isn't meant to be a political blog, though I do have my opinions. What concerns me, and what I ask myself when feelings of despair rise in my heart, is, how do I maintain my serenity in the midst of what feels absolutely insane? How do I stay close to God without sticking my head in the sand? I've tried turning off the TV, but the violence is still happening and I still learn about it. Pretending it isn't there won't make it go away, and doesn't make me feel any better.
AA literature tells us that we will reach a place where we will be able to "match calamity with serenity," and that troubles will be seen as an opportunity to strengthen our spiritual connection. My superficial response is yes, I have achieved these things and so much more. I am no longer tossed about by my own internal judge & jury and I am less impacted by the actions of others. But recovery has given me the gift of awareness, of participating in my own life and being open to the experiences of others in this world. And that can be painful. It is painful to think that who I see as cousins, nephews, or friends, are seen by others as a threat, simply because of their skin color. It is frustrating that my plans to travel need to be weighed out with how much danger I'm willing to tolerate. It is heartbreaking to watch one more unarmed black man shot down on camera, or an African American mental health worker shot trying to help his ill patient, or a solid police officer killed in a protest gone violent.
I read a piece at work this week titled "What do I do when this all starts to seem normal?" How do I shield myself from accepting that school shootings and massacres in bars and one more officer down is the new norm? It is not. Something is terribly wrong here, and I am at a loss. I don't know whether to pray or cry, so I do both. I do what I can to speak up and build bridges. I try my best to focus on what is true and good and right. I do my best to be part of the solution. But so often I simply feel helpless.
How do you get centered in the midst of what is happening in the world? What tools do you use to stay aware, yet detached? How do you walk in this world during troubling times?
I am preaching about this very thing in October. But I don't have any better answer than to keep showing up to my faith community, and pray and cry and ask the questions that have no answers. I have professional detachment, but I have yet to learn the kind you speak about (just started my Al Anon journey, so here's hoping...)
ReplyDeleteYes... keep showing up...
DeleteGood questions. It isn't easy to always deal with the bizarre and violent things that seem to happen everywhere nowadays - and yes, just shutting down and pretending to not notice doesn't work for me at all. And my work is very involved in paying attention to world events and such. But I also am powerless over pretty much everything, which is both comforting and frustrating. I guess for me the feeling of progress is that I am actually relieved most of the time that my power is limited to my speech and my actions. Those are the only things I can control really. And that is what I hold onto to keep me walking through the world in these troubling times.
ReplyDeleteLack of power, that was our dilemma, and our savior...
DeleteYes, great questions Jeanine! Given what seems to be a recent flare-up in human insanity--and the media's bizarre need to exacerbate it--I've been asking myself similar questions. For me, one of the bi-products of term recovery (and one you pointed to as well) is that I've become more capable of sympathizing with the human experience. And, for better or worse, this process has opened up within me acute sensitivities around human suffering just as it has beauty and grace. What the hell? No one told me I'd be negotiating this territory when I got sober!
ReplyDeleteThe questions you ask are deeply human and authentic. And often I'm careful to quote literature for fear that it will come off canned or dogmatic. But lately--with regard to this insane world-- I've given some careful consideration to the serenity prayer, particularly to "grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change." Meditating on this passage has helped me right-size myself and, once more, deflate my exaggerated sense of importance in this world. I'm also comforted by p. 132 in the BB that says, "We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world's troubles on our shoulders... those of us who have tried to shoulder the entire burden and trouble of others find we are soon overcome by them."
This is no-doubt a question that has surfaced in every generation for a long time. Personally, I don't buy that modern atrocities, abuse or corruption are any different than they have been throughout the millennia. So this morning I'm reminding myself that in spite of the world's atrocities I am entitled to have a nice day. And that if I am to effect this world in a positive way it will be because I've done the inner work necessary to stay in the light.