One day at a time.  Sometimes two or three...

I continue to bump up against the "one day at a time" concept. I say "concept" because even though all any of us really have is today, this moment, I am of the inclination and disposition to mentally live about an arm's length away - making plans, wondering what's next, writing in my calendar. Reminder to self: butt in chair, feet on the floor. Where am I right now, this very second?

We've all heard the recovery adage that if we have one foot in the past and one in the future, we are pissing on today, with the implication that focusing on anything but today is a wasteful error of time and energy. I recently heard an interesting take on this idea. What this person shared was that it is also true that there are events and reactions from the past that I have learned from and can draw strength from in this moment. Conversely, it is also true that there are aspects of the future that draw me forward and keep me motivated and engaged. It goes back to perception - am I looking at the past with regret, or with appreciation? Do I see the future fearfully, or with hopeful anticipation?

We were given a copy of the little Twenty-Four Hours a Day book in treatment, which we read each morning as a group. The forward contained this little gem that my friend and I often read together while the peers gathered:

Look to this day, for it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course lie all the realities and verities of existence,
The bliss of growth, the splendor of action, the glory of power --

For yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision,
But today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and
Every tomorrow a vision of hope.

Look well, therefore to this day.                                    (Sanskrit Proverb)

And so, if I find myself attempting to live in either the past or the future, I will examine my perspective as well as my motives. Am I daydreaming about days gone by to either beat myself up for choices made, or to distract from what is going on right now?  Perhaps I am enjoying a reminiscence about a particular event or person. Only I can answer whether or not I'm engaging in morbid reflection, escapism, or simply remembering.  Am I future-tripping based on not having enough information? Am I trying to predict the unpredictable? Or, am I making plans and turning the results over to the Higher Power?

I stand tall today because of all that I've walked through, and because of the influence of those who've been part of my journey. Even the most painful moments have contributed to my spiritual growth. I find motivation for the future when I plan for special events, time with friends or family, or simply laying out my clothes for the next morning's run. I can live in this moment while fully attached to where I've been and where I'm headed.

So, one day at a time, and sometimes two or three. What motivates you along the path? What strengths do you draw on from your past experiences?  What excites you about the future?