A dear friend and I took a lovely hike over the weekend - Opal Creek, near Detroit Lake. It was gorgeous, and Higher Power was definitely there in the magnificence of the old growth forest, and in the sweetness of long term friendship. At a particularly beautiful spot, we paused for a moment of silence to honor our friend, Grace, who died last year due to ALS. We'd always planned to do this hike together, the three of us, back when we were hiking and walking regularly, scanning our calendars for an open weekend. It's not an easy hike to get to - an hour from town to the turnoff, and the final 25 miles on a dirt road - so it was always a "someday." Grace then left town to join the Peace Corp, and then she got sick while in Africa. When we visited her in Maine after her diagnosis, she could only manage a few steps, using a walker.

My point here is that you never know. You just never know what life-on-life's-terms will bring. Obviously I can't do everything I want, when I want. I can't leave tomorrow for a month in India, or rent a cozy bed-sit in northern England for the summer, or retire next week. But I can pay attention to those little nudges to take that hike, call that older relative, visit the friend I haven't seen in a while.

One of the gifts of long term recovery is the ability to discern my heart's true desire from the flashy craving of the moment. A true desire doesn't go away. It might take different forms to get my attention, but the essence of what I truly want (freedom, love, adventure, connection) remains.

Charles Wright & the Watts 103rd Street Band sang, back in the 70's, "Some people have everything that other people don't, but everything don't mean a thing if it ain't the thing you want (Express Yourself)".  What do I want, really?  That's a question I frequently ask myself, trying to make sure that my "want to's" balance out the "have to's."  I'm also paying attention to my policy of "later," as in, "I'll use those pretty dishes later... save that beautiful candle for later... read that book later...  call that person later." My new philosophy is "Later is Now!"  Go on the hike. Take the trip. Use the fancy china. Tell those I feel close to that I love them. Because you just never know.

How do you make time to listen to your heart's wisdom? What is it saying? Is there something you've been saving for later that you could use today? If you could do anything you wanted to, tomorrow or next week, what might that be?