We attended an AA/Alanon conference this past weekend. I know that conferences are something of a niche, a thing that some of us enjoy and some don’t. I am one of the enjoy-ers. I appreciate the brief respite from my day-to-day, listening to various speakers, hearing new perspectives on the Steps – a re-charge for my program. Waiting for the Sunday morning speaker, I listened to the cheeerful clatter of the room full of our people, happy, joyous and free. They chatted in groups of twos and threes, some talking baseball, or comparing conferences; some in deep communion about the miracle of this recovery life. Once left for dead, or worse - a life of misery for ourselves and those who love us - we walk as free women and men. 

It was interesting to note the missing during the sobriety countdown. Those of us with over 20 years were well in attendance, as were those with under 10. But the middle, “teen” years (11-19) were scant. I’ve noticed this at other gatherings as well – at a local monthly speaker meeting recently, there was no one claiming a coin between 10-15. Where do we go? My guess is that life gets good and we drift away, and we either wander back or not. Obviously, not everyone who stops going to meetings falls back into the disease, but many do. Part of what keeps me in meetings is the member who raises their hand to say, “I had 10, 15, 25 years... stopped taking care of my sickness... drank again... having a hard time getting back.” That scares me.

But it isn’t just fear that keeps me vigilant with my recovery. I am saturated in this spiritual path. I love us – our stories, our examples of the unbelievable, our bearing witness to the miracle of sobriety. One of the weekend speakers, Earl H (amazing story – listen to his CD if you’re able), talked about the journey to finding a Higher Power. He relayed a story of a guy asking a priest, “How do I achieve conscious contact with God?” The reply? “Dance, sing, walk in the woods.” He also said that if you doubt the existence of a Higher Power, look at plants – can you do that? I look at my blooming Passion Flower vine and say, “Nope – this flower is an outright miracle, looking like something from outer space. Thank you, Creator.”

Today is Independence Day, which coincides with my half-year sobriety anniversary. On this day, I like to take a few moments to reflect on my freedoms – freedom from the chains of my particular addiction (terror, bewilderment, frustration and despair) and freedom to... freedom to fully participate in my own life and the lives of others, sometimes joyful and sometimes painful, but all of it, a gift.

What freedoms do you celebrate today, big or small?