A meeting topic last week had to do with ideals, based on a reading from the Big Book, page 70, that says we are sure to drink again if our conduct continues to harm others. This section of the book specifically deals with sex, but the chairperson extrapolated the message to all our behavior in the world - how do we treat our fellow travelers?

This chapter counsels that we should turn to a higher power to shape our ideals. At the beginning of my recovery, that prospect scared me. I had the notion that if I truly practiced Step 3, I'd need to sell all my worldly goods and move to Calcutta to work with Mother Theresa. I had a hard time reconciling what I thought of as "happy, joyous and free" with the underlying notion of earning my way back to full humanity after all the crappy things I'd done. Even now I notice a slight hesitation at the thought of shaping my ideals based on my highest good, as if my highest good would be something negative or punitive. 

What are my ideals? The dictionary definition is "a standard of perfection, a principle to be aimed at." What jumps to mind, of course, is the 12 Steps - our philosophy of unity, recovery and service, being open, honest and willing to both behave in a loving manner today, and to amend and repair where we falter. Am I doing my best to strive towards those principles? I so appreciate the small note in Step 12 (12x12) that describes Step 7 as asking for our defects to be removed based on the condition of the day we ask. Some days I'm able to pause, some days not. I can always try again.

The winter solstice is next week, which coincides with an astrological "great conjunction," where Jupiter and Saturn appear to meet in the sky (happened in 1623, but last visible in 1226). I'm not a huge follower of astrology, but I appreciate the cosmic reminder that life is, that life goes on in the tides, the rain, the seasons, and the planets regardless of what I'm experiencing. In any event, this year's solstice in particular, the day of the conjunction, is a good time to set intention. What does that mean in the time of covid, this altered reality we've been living in for nine months now? It seems that my new year intentions will be internally focused, more home and heart-based rather than what I want to accomplish. Where and how do I want to grow in application of recovery principles? Where and how might I deepen my spiritual connections so that I'm better available to be of service, be that in program or the wider world? 

I came across this lists of questions - good for any time, but especially helpful as I take stock of the year that is passing and plan for the year ahead:

What do I want more of in my life?  Less?

How have I contributed this past year, and what might that look like going forward?

What truly matters to me?

Does my daily life reflect those ideals?

What do I want to learn?

What do I want to practice?

What do I want to complete/end/let go of?

What do I want to experience/enjoy?

What does it mean for me to be well? to thrive?

Best wishes to you as we move towards the darkest day of the year (here in the northern hemisphere) and approach the return of the light (and a happy summer solstice to you down under and elsewhere in the south).

** Just in time for holiday planning, or your year-end inventory.  (See the 11/17/20 blog entry  for a chapter sample)

I’ve Been Sober a Long Time – Now What? A workbook for the Joys & Challenges of Long Term Recovery” is a 78 page workbook, 8 ½ x11 format, with topics (such as grief, aging, sponsorship) that include a member’s view and processing questions. Available at Portland Area Intergroup at 825 N.E. 20th or online through this blog page. If you would like to purchase online, you will need to go to the WEB VERSION of this page, at www.soberlongtime.com  to view the link to PayPal or Credit Card option.   Email me at shadowsandveins@gmail.com if you’d like more information. (my apologies, but with the link, you can only order 1 workbook at a time).