No whining on the yacht!

 This week I've tried to stay out of obsession-mode, wondering whether or not my flight to meet friends for a vacation (and a run in Monument Valley AZ) would be cancelled. In the grand scheme of things, it's a luxury problem. As with most things, it's been the waiting, the not knowing that's tough.

I'm reminded of a treatment counselor who, when we'd go on about one "what if?" or another would say, "Have you had enough to eat today? Do you know where you're going to sleep tonight?" Well, then, all is well. I loved hearing what a friend said in a meeting this week, that she'd heard in earlier sobriety: No whining on the yacht! Indeed. All of my needs and most of my wants are taken care of today so I can live from a place of gratitude and positivity vs a sense of lack. 

And really, it's the "what if's" that are like spitting into the wind. Are my fears real and tangible, like worrying about hurricanes or floods in certain areas of the country? Well then, assess the situation and take action. Are my worries primarily in my head, based on what I think might happen? Then come on back to the here and now. What is true in this actual moment?

So, assessing the situation, I 've checked out possible train or bus travel (not feasible - way too long), and now know the hotel cancellation policy. I packed my suitcase like I usual and kept an eye on the airline website. My spouse and I attended a friend's potluck, and drove a delightful fellow to his cancer appointment. I made dinners and cleaned the kitchen.  In other words, I put one foot in front of the other. Years ago I read a book, Creative Visualization, by Shakti Gawain, that like most descriptions of affirmations, says that one is to think and affirm that the positive has already happened. Instead of "I hope I get a good job" I'd affirm that "I have work I enjoy." So this week, I've been imagining myself walking my friend's dogs in Taos on Wednesday evening. 

A weekly post I receive, Sermons on the Couch, pointed out that there are a mere eight Sundays to go before we enter 2026. Eight! A few blinks and I'll be cursing the midnight fireworks on New Year's Eve as I've fallen asleep well before the clock turns. A friend once pointed out the number of months she likely has left. If I last as long at my mother, I'd have 180 months (though my intention is aiming for a healthy 100). Sounds odd when it's broken down like that, and we just never know, but time and again I'm reminded that there will be an end to this story. And time and time again, I ask myself, ala Mary Oliver, what is it I want to do with what remains of this wild and precious life?

I enjoy the writing of Alice McDermott, and am just reading Absolution, a novel about an American wife in South Vietnam just before the American War. She, along with a military wife and a couple of soldiers, are trying to do at least a bit of good in a country where there is much poverty. One of the soldiers has a permanently positive attitude, which she describes much like the Big Book talks about the joy in escaping a sinking ship, a sense of wonder and appreciation for this interesting life, despite the sorrow all around. 

On a good day, I'm right there with him, marveling at having recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. It's been so very long now, but not so long that I've forgotten the sense of despair that colored my days. I am grateful for the newcomers in meetings who remind me of what was, but I'm telling you, I have enough vivid memories of my own should I ever be tempted to think, "Maybe it wasn't so bad." Yes, it was - bad and worse and I'm lucky to be alive.

And, after all my worries vs trust this past week, here I sit at the Portland airport, on my merry way. As someone once posted, nothing I've worried about has come true, so apparently worry works! (that's a joke....)

How do you remind yourself that many of your problems are of the luxury variety? What does "No whining on the yacht!" bring to mind? When there are actual troubles in your life, how do you us the principles of the program to assess the situation and take action?

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The NOW WHAT workbook is 78 pages of topics and processing questions, great for solo exploration or in a small group. Go to the WEB VERSION of this blog page for the link on ordering (PDF for those outside the U.S., or who prefer it, or hard copy mailed to you). 

Contact me at SoberLongTime@soberlongtime.com or shadowsandveins@gmail.com with questions. A reminder that the workbook is available at Portland Area Intergroup, 825 NE 20th. for local folks. And Jackie, of TMar, has a supply as well, if you're at a conference where they have a booth.