To Do..

I was in a meeting recently where the chairperson, opened with "I've been sober 35 years. Can't I take a week or two off ?"  Well, no. Not exactly.  Are we allowed vacation from the spiritual path? Not unless we are also planning ahead to make some amends for our behavior!  But what about this notion of rest and balance - the "human doing vs human being" that we are told to emulate?  And what happens when the "being" becomes just one more item on the to-do list?  Go to work. Run. Coffee with friends. Meeting. Hike. Bike ride. Picnic. Clean house. Laundry. Read a book. Relax. Meditate. Laundry.

I am a do-er; not compulsively, but definitely task oriented.  Employers tend to love that about me. Loved ones, maybe not so much. What I struggle with is the idea of balance. OK, not the idea of balance - I think it is admirable - but the achievement of same. I find my weeks filled with activity - social,  life maintenance, service, family time, chores...   I often crave space and find myself caught in the trap of "when life calms down, then I will (fill in the blank)."  But the thing is, life doesn't calm down - life just is. How do I balance my low boredom tolerance with the need for quiet time?

I have come to accept that I fill in my own date book. No little genie sneaks into my purse to scribble in step groups and coffee dates and symphonies. My intention each month, as I look at the beautiful blank page of a new calendar, is to leave holes in the schedule. Blank spaces for being home. For puttering in the garden. For cooking a lovely meal rather than just throwing something together. I am the guardian of my time. I need to remember that the next time I impulsively say, "Yes! I'd love to!" There is so much I'd love to do, but sometimes I need the self-discipline to say "No."  Balance is an art. Balance is a spiritual discipline. Balance is a state of being, that like the teeter-totter, moves from one end of the spectrum to the other. Today I feel in that centered spot. I think I'll stay here awhile.

What is your practice for staying balanced?  How do you manage your to-do list so that it doesn't manage you?