And here we are, wandering through the "new normal" that isn't normal at all. Today a friend asked, "Does it seem like time has slowed down?" Yes, and maybe that's a good thing as I stay open to whatever positives present themselves.

I've "attended" several online meetings now, still moved by our collective urge to connect. My local home group this weekend included members who'd moved away - to Iowa, North Carolina, and Wisconsin. What a treat to see their smiling faces, and hear how they are faring. We are not alone. And, it has been good to talk on the phone with members who aren't internet connected. We are not alone.

In every meeting I've been in, and in phone conversations, I hear initial fear, followed almost immediately by expressions of gratitude. Many, myself included, are asking, "What am I to learn here?" For me, a big part of it is truly incorporating "one day at a time." As much as I may think otherwise, I don't know what's going to happen next. That can be frightening for those of us with a wee bit of underlying anxiety, or I can shift the focus to curiosity. Instead of "I don't know what's next" I can try, "I wonder what's next?" Or maybe even, "What's in front of me right this moment?"

I have been attentive to my "Good Orderly Direction" or "Grace Over Drama" box that is my repository for real and imagined fears - and the slips of paper have been flying! Our eventual return to our work site, my spouse's immune system, my friend's cancer treatment and his not wanting to eat, economic fallout from the shut down, what I'd imagined my last three months of work would be like...  I write down my fear or concern, take a deep breath, and shut the darned box. This isn't to say that I'm successful in not thinking about a, b or c, but the action of putting pen to paper, and paper into box, slows the roller-coaster.

I chaired a meeting yesterday on the topic of letting go. A member shared something they'd recently learned: In place of our slogan "Let Go & Let God" (however you do or don't define the "G" word), he is using "Let Go & Let Come." If I'm able to release my internal grip on the unknowable, I can further challenge myself to be open to what shows up.

A much younger friend asked what I might regret 10 years from now if I don't take action today. That would've been easier to answer 10, 20 or even 5 years ago, but today, on the very edge of retiring, I don't have an answer. I am consciously doing my best to stay open to what presents itself - Classes? Volunteering? Hiking? Washing the windows??  Today, especially today in March of 2020, Covid-19 time, I have no idea what I'd regret 10 years from now, but I'm interested to find out.

Someone else at a meeting suggested reframing "social distancing" to "social spaciousness." People are speaking of meditation, time outdoors, connecting with family in ways they hadn't in recent years. This is a time to be still, to be quiet, not merely because we're supposed to, but because I'm feeling called to look at the layers beneath the superficial news of the day. What does it mean to stay home, when "home" has sometimes felt like a rest stop on the way to somewhere else? How can I show up for my loved ones, and my family-of-choice, when we're instructed to maintain physical distance? How much material stuff do I really need and what can I release? How do I apply the Steps and tools of the program in "all my affairs" all of the time? (or, make amends when I falter?) 

How are you able to connect during this stay-at-home time? In what ways can you shift focus from fears to gratitudes? What are you being called to do during this time of enforced slow-down, whether that is writing inventory, cleaning a closet, creating a poem, or going for a walk?


NOTE: “I’ve Been Sober a Long Time – Now What? A workbook for the Joys & Challenges of Long Term Recovery” is a 78 page workbook, 8 ½ x11 format, with topics (such as grief, aging, sponsorship) that include a member’s view and processing questions. Available at Portland Area Intergroup at 825 N.E. 20th or online through this blog page. If you would like to purchase online, you will need to go to the WEB VERSION of this page to view the link to PayPal or Credit Card option.   Email me at shadowsandveins@gmail.com if you’d like more information