My husband and I celebrated our recent 12 year wedding anniversary by visiting a meeting in a small town about 40 miles east, in a restaurant conference room overlooking the Columbia River. Stunning view, inspiring shares, and I found myself a little misty when a member talked about being trapped in the Denver airport this past winter, when the airlines shut down, being so grateful to hear an announcement for "Friends of Bill W." I love how we come together, whether in an airport or during a global pandemic, friends or strangers, all with the common bond.
Later in the day we took a hike through a field of wildflowers further east along the Columbia, stopping at an overlook, which brought to mind a recent selection from a daily reader that talked about ancestors and relatives and all that contributed to us being here at this moment. My mother's grandmother came across the Oregon Trail with her family when she was three years old. I don't know if they barged down the river, or trekked over Mt Hood, but either way, I think about the decision to "go west" and all that sprang from that. I think of my father's grandfather, who left Michigan with two small children when his wife died in childbirth with the second, and all the twists and turns that resulted in my parents meeting on a blind date after WWII.
I think about all the choices and decisions - to go or to stay, to take this job or that which could result in a move or a new romance; moving into this particular house or that apartment, which means the kids go to this school or that. I visited my former brother-in-law last week. Like my brother, he lives in the house he grew up in, and we talked about our neighborhoods - the kids who lived down the street or around the block, the games of street ball, or hanging out in each other's kitchens. Maybe it was the baby boom, with so many young families congregated around grade schools, but it seems to be a thing of the past. We have three homes with young kids on our block, and I never see them even talking to each other, much less playing hide-and-seek. Times are different. Two car households means on-street parking, which means less room (and less safe) for street games; both parents working means kids aren't usually home during the day - lots and lots of changes over the years.
I saw my brother-in-law again, doing my best to help with some computer stuff (that's one drawback of being retired - no IT Department to call). During the course of the conversation, he asked about my decision to work in addictions treatment, and I told him a little bit about my hitting bottom. Now understand, until a few years ago, I truly hadn't seen this man for close to 40 years. He knew I was a drinker, but had no idea about the other stuff, saying at one point that he would've had to beat anyone up for lying who'd said I was an addict. I'm glad I don't look like my story. And grateful for the path that takes people out of my life and then circles around to bring them back.
Speaking of, I have dates this week with a woman I literally haven't seen since 1972, and another friend I haven't seen since 2019 (damned pandemic). The friend from high school and I had an interesting and intense friendship that probably only lasted part of a school year. The other friend and I have know each other since our 1st sober-versary. Again, I am grateful for connections and re-connections.
And, the beat goes on as I do my best to pay attention to "To Thine Own Self Be True" and what, exactly that might mean today. I'm trying out a volunteer gig with the American Cancer Society, knowing that giving back isn't limited to our service in AA/Alanon. I continue to be mindful of balance - tasks vs people, remembering that when this all ends, will I be glad for a clean desk or that I spent time with loved ones? OK, so a clean desk matters to me, and whatever really needs to get done tends to get done! In the meantime, I'll walk up to the coffee shop, or drive across town for lunch. I'll putter in my low-maintenance garden and every once in a while, wipe dust off the bookshelves.
What comes to mind when you think about all the decisions that brought you to this very moment? Do you have connections over time? How do you maintain those relationships? Who might need to hear that they are important to you?
* * *
See the Jan 13, 2023 post for a sample of the "I've Been Sober a Long Time - Now What?" workbook with 78 pages of topics, member's views, and processing questions. Available in PDF format ($12.95) for those of you outside the US (or who prefer that format) or hardcopy ($19.95 mailed to you. Email me at shadowsandveins@gmail.com with questions. You can order from the WEB VERSION of this page, payment link on top right. Note that the workbook is also available at Portland Area Intergroup at 825 NE 20th
No comments:
Post a Comment