Acceptance...

I can almost hear people groan as they read this simple word - acceptance.  For those of us raised in recovery on the 3rd edition of the Big Book, all one has to say is "449" and you get the same groan. Acceptance? No way. Not this time. Not for this thing. Not now. Not ever.

I was in our monthly gathering of women with 20+ years sobriety last night and the chairperson opened with the paragraph that many of us love to hate: "And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in god's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

Now this is just one man's opinion, but I can tell you that when it was read last night, I was moved to tears, and felt a deep exhale as I let go, for just a moment, of what troubles me. What is, is.  I can argue with whether or not there are "mistakes" in god's world, I can ruminate on "what if this???" or "what if that???" but until I can sit still - and I mean that internally as well as actually sitting - I will be incapable of determining my next course of action. Acceptance does not mean approval - far from it. But acceptance is a surrender to the facts. The sun is shining. The cats are hungry. We have a new president. I am scheduled to work tomorrow.  What is, is.

I was reminded, with the simple reading of one small paragraph from our recovery literature, that I don't need to try to think myself out of my feelings.  I was reminded that I am blessed with the miracle of recovery, the miracle of life after addiction, the miracle of a wide network of supportive others. I was reminded that while anger can be a catalyst to action, fear generally isn't.  I can do my best, today, to stay centered, to trust in a higher good, and honor my process of the 3 A's - Awareness, Acceptance, Action.  One day at a time, acceptance is the answer. One day at a time.