The Love Vibe of the people...

 At a past International Convention, I believe the one in Toronto, one of the old-timers who spoke was from Nova Scotia. I don't recall the details of his story, other than his saying what kept him coming back was "the love-vibe of the people." At the time I thought it was funny, coming from a fellow who looked more like a fisherman than an old hippie, but the longer I'm around, the more I agree with him. It's about the people.

Before I got sober, I might've told you, or believed myself, that I didn't like people, but the truth was, I was afraid of you - afraid you knew more than I did, that you could see I didn't quite belong, the old "you're ok and I'm not" routine. But lo and behold, when I heard people share in meetings I realized we aren't so different after all and that many of us came in with the core belief that we're not ok at some level. Thank goodness for outside help and lots of Step work, and truthfully, growing older, which seems to have smoothed out much of the angst of younger days.

And thank goodness for the love-vibe of the people. This past week I spent time with a friend from the early years who left Portland now decades ago but was in town for the holiday. Another day, I picked up a woman I've known since third grade to attend a gathering at another grade school (& program) pal's house. I saw another good friend at my in-person meeting mid-week, and was able to connect via yet another friend, with a woman who's just moving to Portland. And then Thanksgiving at my sister-from-another-mother's house where I expressed my gratitude that she (who I've known since 1972) adopted me and my husband for the holidays after Mom died. And then I made good on my professed love of nature and went on a chilly but beautiful hike with another good friend. As I said last week, I am rich beyond measure, which also included an overnight with our daughter, who hadn't slept here since pre-pandemic days.

That's a lot of people time for this introvert, so am relishing a more open (i.e. empty) schedule this week. Balance, balance, balance, especially this time of year when I can feel torn between enjoying festivities and being drawn to the quiet darkness of pre-solstice. 

And in the quiet of a wonderfully unstructured day, I attacked a particular shelf in my office/guest room where I have a habit of simply piling papers upon papers until they threaten to slide onto the floor. Some of it is printed blog pages, which go into a notebook. Some are printed out poems or articles, most, these days, dealing with aging, death or grief. And then there is the folder of obituaries - flyers from memorials attended, obits from the local paper, newspaper articles about well-known people who've died. It's long felt important to keep these mementos - reminders of lives lived, long or too brief. There is Rodney K, a stellar man of enthusiasm and laughter, Mark H, an early AIDS activist I met at the acupuncture clinic, and dear Walt, who fought kidney disease for decades with a positive attitude I could only hope to emulate. I've heard it said that no one is actually dead until there's no one left to remember them. I do remember - Peggy and Leonard, Ila, biker Kelly, Kathleen. Norm B, Jimmy C - .so many examples of going out with their boots on, staying sober through it all. 

At a Flexibility class at my gym the other day, I asked one of the women how old she is. "Coming up on 89!" she said, along with "It's important to keep moving." Indeed. And so, I will keep moving, through the Steps, through life on life's terms, through the memories, through the lessons, through the ups and the downs, the annoyances and the joys - one day at a time. 

How do you experience the "love vibe of the people," in or out of the rooms? How can you be mindful of balance in these potentially busy holiday weeks? Who is in your memory file of people who've gone on? Is there anything left unsaid in your friendships and relationships today?

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Might it be time for a year-end inventory or planning for the new year?

The NOW WHAT workbook is 78 pages of topics and processing questions, great for solo exploration or in a small group. Go to the WEB VERSION of this blog page for the link on ordering (PDF for those outside the U.S., or hard copy mailed to you). Contact me at SoberLongTime@soberlongtime.com or shadowsandveins@gmail.com with questions. And a reminder that the workbook, is available at the Portland Area Intergroup at 825 NE 20th. for local folks.