Ah, the autumn equinox (here in the northern hemisphere - spring for you in the south). Some of my friends prefer the sultry summer, but I am a fall-lover through and through - cool mornings, with maybe a sweater in the evening and the nourishing rains. I love nothing more than sitting on my backyard bench or cozy couch with a hot beverage and a book or my journal, watching Mother Nature do her thing. I don't change my walking routine much this time of year. As we say here in (usually) rainy Portland, there is no poor weather, just poor gear.
I am a Libra, which may have something to do with the internal leaning towards balance - day and night, active and resting, quiet and conversant. I don't mind the shorter days that lead to winter - all part of the cycle. I did read a poem years ago where the author both celebrated and mourned the coming of spring as a joyous season, yet also one less turning of the calendar as he aged. As I've written, a friend noted that if she lives to be 85, she now has X number of months left. I don't like to think in those stark terms, which can throw me into "not enough time!" mode, but it is more and more sobering to contemplate this finite life as the calendar turns.
A recent meeting quoted from the "Just For Today" pamphlet, of which AA and Alanon each have versions. The primary message of both is that, just for today, I will live in this moment and accept what is, I will have a program and follow it, I will, essentially, strive to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem. Alanon also has a Just for Tonight bookmark, with the reminder that I've done the best I could, and that I can rest without trying to solve tomorrow's problems.
We probably all hear, and have maybe said ourselves, that our 12 Step sayings and slogans are trite and simplistic. Sure, at first glance, though I find that even the simplest - one day at a time, easy does it, for example - can be a reminder to pause, take a breath, remember what really matters (which isn't the person blocking the grocery aisle with their cart). Today, in this moment, I have all that I need, including all the time I need to get done what truly needs doing.
I'm also thinking about discipline this week. I had my second physical therapy appointment yesterday, learning the technique for lymphatic massage to go along with specific stretches for residual range of motion issues following surgery and radiation. I'm to do both daily, as in every day, whether I feel like it or not, or forget or not.
Self-discipline is a funny thing. For decades I woke up at 4:15am to hammer out a 5-6 mile run before work. Even now, I rarely skip a scheduled walk. But stretching? Limiting caffeine or sugar? Adding in some core work to the walking routine? Spend time with my writing? Not as motivated.
The Big Book tells me that "HP gave us brains to use," and Lila R speaks to the willingness needed to get to a meeting, pick up the book, or answer the phone. Can I utilize the same positive aspect of self-will to do what is recommended for my health? Later is now, not some far away time when I'll magically be able to touch my toes while eating six servings of vegetables each day.
So, just for today I will do what is recommended. I've already gone for my walk and stretched afterwards. I will keep my commitment to be fill-in Secretary for tonight's meeting. I will switch to water after this so-very-tasty cup of coffee. I will pause during my day to look out the window or play with the kittens. Just for today, I will be present with what is.
How do you view the changing of seasons? If fall and winter aren't your thing, how can you find peace and acceptance in the darker days? How do you stay, or get, motivated for all those big and little self-care activities on your list? Is there a small move you can do today that will take you closer to one of your "I really should... (fill in the blank - get more sleep, take a walk, read my Big Book)"?
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See the Jan 13, 2023 post for a sample of the "I've Been Sober a Long Time - Now What?" workbook with 78 pages of topics, member's views, and processing questions. Available in PDF format ($12.95) for those of you outside the US (or who prefer that format) or hardcopy ($19.95 mailed to you. Email me at shadowsandveins@gmail.com with questions. You can order from the WEB VERSION of this page, payment link on top right. Note that the workbook is also available at Portland Area Intergroup at 825 NE 20th
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